Damaged Hearts & Fractured Minds
by LuckySmarts
Summary: Ellie Miller visits D.I Alec Hardy after the operation on his heart. First time writing Broadchurch, forgive me for OOC, thanks to x-SpaceGirl-x for tips. With Alec and Ellie (platonic).
1. Chapter 1

Drip. Drip. Drip.

A spilled glass of water was driving Hardy slowly insane. Who'd brought him water anyway? He never wanted water.

He opened his eyes slightly to see someone wiping said water off of the floor.

Someone in an infuriatingly bright rusty-orange jacket.  
"Miller?!" He half growled, half wheezed in disbelief. She stood up quickly, tossing the paper towels into a trash can. "Finally. Sleeping Beauty has awoken." she teased. He just glared at her, but she smiled and he softened slightly, though he still didn't smile.  
"I cannae believe you're here. Why? Why are you here?" he said with indignation, because he was rather embarrassed that his co-worker was watching him passed out in a hospital gown.  
"I cannae believe it either." she teased. "But...I felt sort of bad that.." "Nobody else was going to come to see me," he said roughly, though it didn't seem to bother him. She nodded, giving a little cringe. "..Yeah." He nodded, glancing away, a mutter of confirmation rising from his throat.  
She smiled and took a seat next to his bedside. "So...how're you holding up?" he asked her. She laughed. "You just got cut open and you're asking me?" He just looked at her. "No, really. Okay?" he asked, coughing slightly. She nodded. "..We're...getting along." Things had been difficult after Joe had confessed, and Ellie was still considering leaving Broadchurch. He nodded. "Good. If.." he hesitated for a while, unsure. "If you ever need someone to watch the kids, I'll...I wouldn't mind." She grinned. "I'm so sorry, Sir, but not a chance. We have enough trouble with manners already. Adding an overgrown, grumpy child to the mix wouldn't help a bit." He stared at her with a stony expression, not finding her particularly funny.  
"Ellie grinned mischieviously, moving on. "I brought you something." His eyebrows furrowed warily. "..Wha?" "I brought you something," she repeated cheerfully. "Look to your left." He glanced to his left to find a small brown teddy bear tucked in next to him, under his arm. She tried not to laugh. "You didn't even notice." Hardy was not amused. "Miller!" he exclaimed, his voice laced thickly with annoyance and his Scottish accent. She crossed her arms. "..Yes, Sir?" He realized he had nothing and sputtered for a moment. "..Why?" he said finally. She smiled. "Because quite frankly Sir, nobody else is going to cuddle with you." " 'Scuse me?" he responded, glaring at her. She smiled sweetly. "Nothing."  
He sighed, looking up at her. "I will nae put up with your rubbish much longer, okay? I want to get out of here." he said in frustration, glancing at the hospital bed. She sighed. "Sir. It's been one day since your operation." He glared at her. "Yeah? And one whole day in this bed...this stupid..fr-" Then, the nurse walked in, and they both looked at her with innocence. "Mr. Hardy, you're going to need to take your pain medication now," she said, giving him a large pill. He smiled, unusually charmingly. "Oh, yes, of course, thank you." As soon as she had left the room, he spat it onto the floor. "Blech. Miller. Kick it under the bed so she doesn't see it." She picked it up off the floor. "Sir. You have to take it." "Don't tell me what to do!" he snapped. She crossed her arms, pill between her fingers. "Sir, I'm going to shove it down your throat if you don't take it, which is going to be uncomfortable for the both of us, so I strongly advise you take your medicine."

After a little while of debate, Hardy took the pill. 


	2. Chapter 2

About half an hour later, the pain medication had started to kick in. It was doing what it was supposed to, keep him from hurting, but it was also making him increasingly tired. Alec gave an occasional nod or 'uh huh' as Ellie talked, trying to keep him entertained, though at this point he honestly had no clue what she was going on about.

It was when his eyelids started to flutter that she realized he wasn't, and really wasn't able to, listen. "Sir? Is the medication making you tired?"

He glared at her. "I'm nae tired, Miller." he mumbled, trying to prop himself up a little more. She waved a hand. "Sir, don't. Just...just lie down." He sighed and stared at her with clear irritation but stopped moving, sinking back into the pillow. Her phone began to ring, and she picked it up, looking at it. " 'S Tom?" Hardy guessed. She nodded and gave him the 'one minute' sign and stepped out. Tom had just wanted to check in, it had gotten late and though he knew she was worried about her 'friend', he'd wanted to check in on his mum.

When she finished the call, she stepped back in and smiled slightly. Hardy had drifted off, giving a soft but strange wheezing snore. "Not tired my foot." she muttered, giving him a last look and stepping back out. She'd come back in the morning to check in on him.

The nurse smiled when she saw Ellie again in the morning. She stopped her. "Um, ma'am?"

Ellie turned and smiled, unsure. "Um, yes?"

"I..just wanted you to know he'll be glad to see you. He got a little..upset when he realized you weren't there."

"What do you mean?"

"He just saw you weren't there and started calling for you. He told me not to tell you about it, though."

She hesitated, a little confused and surprised. "Erm...okay. I won't mention it to him. Thanks?"

She just nodded and turned away. Ellie gave a little shrug to herself and stepped in.

"Hello, Miller." came a rough greeting from Hardy, who squinted at her, sitting up a little. She nodded and took a seat. "Hi, Alec." He glared. "Don't call me Alec. You know nae to call me that. I don't like Alec." she sighed. "Okay. Let's try again. Hi, Hardy." He hesitated, trying to decide if she was mocking him, but just gave a slight nod of recognition.

She hesitated. "..Sorry I had to leave last night. I needed some sleep." He shook his head. "You don't need to be here, Miller. It's nae your job." She folded her arms. "Well, I don't seem to have one for the moment, so it could be." He snorted. "What are you going to do? Spoon-feed me?" he taunted. She stared back at him. "Sir, if you're not going to eat for your nurse, I will." He smiled then his eyes widened and the temporary smile fell. "What, you're serious?" he growled. She nodded. He looked away in disgust. "Miller, I really cannae believe you sometimes." She sighed. "I think the feeling is mutual."


	3. Chapter 3

"Miller," he grumbled as he stirred, waking up, "do you ever leave?"

She sighed. "I left while you slept, yeah. I'm not living in the bloody chair."

He sighed, glancing around the room with darkened brown eyes. "When do I get out of here?" Ellie shifted in her seat. "They said a few more days. They want you to rest."

Alec gave a disheartened sigh, scratching at his beard with one hand. "Fine." he muttered. He looked at her. "You should go check in on Tom and..." he squinted. She sighed. "Fred." she said, even though she knew he'd forget his name again. "Fred." he echoed. She shook her head. "Tom's spending time with Mark, and Fred's being watched." He sighed. He didn't mind having her be here, but it was sort of embarrassing. He wasn't a child, he didn't need her to take care of him.

He tried to push himself up a little, giving a tiny grunt. "Can I have my phone?" he muttered. She blinked suspiciously. "..For what?" He rolled his eyes. "For Christ's sake, Miller. I'm nae going to call a cabbie. I want to check my messages." She nodded. "Okay." she said, handing it over. She'd been holding on to it, she'd taken it away so he wouldn't do something idiotic like try to get out of the hospital early. He gave her a nod of thanks and squinted at the screen, unlocking it with a swipe of his thumb.

After a moment, Ellie noticed his silence. "Everything okay?"

He heaved a sigh. "Yeah. Yeah, 's fine." he said, though she caught a little hurt in his tone as he set the phone down.

She didn't question him further, mostly because it was the only time she'd ever seen him look so sad.

3 HOURS LATER

After Alec had drifted off to sleep (the pain medication made him either a little loopy or tired), Ellie's curiosity got the best of her. She carefully, very carefully, picked up the phone and unlocked it. He didn't have a password. She glanced at him warily, afraid he'd wake and give a cry of "MILLER!" accompanied by a wave of curses at any moment. There was a new message. He hadn't opened it, he hadn't wanted to listen to it.

She looked at the name that accompanied the number that had called and left the message.

Tess Henchard.

...Oh.


	4. Chapter 4

Ellie quickly put the phone back after her minor investigation. He wasn't really the type to...avoid people. He was pretty upfront about everything, she'd always assumed. She wouldn't question him.

She was surprised when he gave a little whimper in his sleep, hand moving up by his heart. She quickly went to the machines. The nurse had shown her how to press the little 'plus' sign for more pain medication or the 'minus' to dial it down. She raised the amount of medication up a few notches, giving his other hand a reassuring pat as she sat back down.

It was about half an hour before his eyelids fluttered open as he gave a little grunt. He then turned to look at her with squinted eyes. "Miller." he muttered, his tone more welcoming than usual. "Hardy." she returned, and there was a hint of a smile beneath his beard. "You need to go check on the kids?" he asked. She shook her head. "They're fine. You already asked me." she said with a hint of worry, before she remembered. Oh. They'd told her he got loopy on the pain meds.

She still wasn't expecting him to start rambling. "Still." he mumbled. "They grow up so fast. One day, they're so tiny, the next it's all 'Dad, I'm gonna be getting my permit soon'." He shook his head with fondness yet sadness, looking at the wall. "At least, that's how it was with mine." he murmured. She tried to give him a reassuring smile. "That's how all parents feel, I think," she said. "No matter what you do, they grow up too fast."

He gave a little smile. "Not mine." he said, his voice not betraying any of the hurt. "They were ecstatic. 'Alec, I cannae believe it took you this long to get a job.' 'Alec, I cannae believe you take up so much space.' 'Alec, why can't you just do it on your own like a normal person?" he said, his voice starting to rise slightly. She put her hand on his gently, trying to calm him. "I'm sorry." Ellie murmured.

He gave a crooked smile. "Enjoy me and my medication while it lasts," he muttered. "I'll be back to being an arse soon." he added. "Oh, I don't doubt it," she said, though she smiled when she said it.

He looked her in the eyes. "I'm not a child, Miller," he said quietly. "Now go enjoy the time you have while it lasts." She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off. "...Ehm...who moved my phone?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Nobody. You're just imagining things. The phone's in the same place." she says with what she hopes is a believable eyeroll.

Hardy studies her but gives her a shrug, and a little while later he's back to sleep.

Ellie, though she hates to do it, afraid he'll do something stupid, takes his advice and goes to spend some time with the kids. Fred is more than happy that his mum is spending some time with them, and Tom is relieved to hear Hardy hasn't died and/or tried to break out of the hospital. Ellie actually finds it sweet how worried Tom seems about him, though she quickly reassures him Alec's fine. Fred doesn't fully understand what's happened, but he seems happy to hear 'Uncle Alec' is doing well.

She sits with them on the beach, and thinks back to how it used to be. Tom would probably be running along to go play with Danny right now, and she'd be laughing and chatting with Beth, and Mark and Joe would probably be playing some silly game with them, and...she cleared the thoughts from her mind. No use now. And she didn't want to think about Joe. She'd thought she loved him. But now he was everything she despised.

But she'd done her best to heal. And as irritating and obnoxious as Hardy was, he tried to help her to the best of his ability. He actually was very sweet, but he'd never show it. He was afraid of getting hurt. And Ellie didn't blame him. He'd shown her that everything wasn't always as it seems, that even the people you'd given so much to weren't to be trusted. To be honest, Alec was one of the only people she trusted any more.

So when she arrives back at the hospital and he's gone, she is absolutely furious.

"Miller? What are you-" she cuts him off, pushing open the door to his run-down little house.

"How could you? You said you wouldn't leave! You PROMISED me!" she screams, and right now he is more scared of her than he is of a thousand Scottish mothers.

"Well I..I.." he stammers, backing up.

"Do you know how hurt you could have gotten, up and leaving like that? What if you weren't ready to go? Technically, you aren't ready to go! You should be in a hospital bed!" she continues, and he realizes she's upset only because she cares about him.

"It's fine, Miller, really. I'm fine," he tries to reassure her. "I have the pain medication, and I'll go back if there's anything wrong, okay?"

She tries to keep the anger in her face but winds up looking more scared than upset. "You promise? You won't be Mr 'I'm Scottish and I feel no pain'? Because you can be really stupid when it comes to this sort of thing."

He sighs, giving her an eyeroll. "I promise. I'll go back to the hospital if there's anything wrong. Which there won't be. Because. I'm. Fine." he replies, trying to get the point across that he's not going to die on her.

They both sigh and stare at each other for a little while before Hardy offers his arms out and Ellie accepts the hug. It's an awkward embrace, and it doesn't last long, but it relieves the tension in the room. Hardy knows that she understands why he left. He doesn't want to be vulnerable. He doesn't want the world to move on while he's in a bed. He wants to see the results of Joe's trial in person, not to hear about it later, he wants to solve the Sandbrook case. But he also realizes that he can't keep breaking promises with her. She trusts him, and he can't afford to have that trust broken. Because she is the only person in the world at this moment who is truly his friend.


	6. Chapter 6

He watches the rain hitting his window, stronger and faster, getting lost in his own world until a crack of thunder snaps him back to reality. Alec scrubs his face in his hands. Tess is going to come see him tomorrow, and he's equally excited and dreading the idea.

It hurts to see her.

Because he's not just seeing her. He's seeing the person he used to be, the life he used to have. And he wants it back.

He settles on the end of the couch with a sigh, glasses perched crookedly on the bridge of his nose.

And then he hears a rap at the door.

He stands up, looking out the window again. And there she is, standing in that infuriatingly bright orange anorak. Ellie Miller.

He shuffles over to the door, flinging it open. She doesn't need to ask to come in, he's already stepping back to make way for her. "Christ, why are you here? You need to be with the kids." he reprimands. "And it's pouring out."

She sighs. "I've come to help you work on the Sandbrook case. I assume that's what you do anyway, when you're alone. Or you just stare out the window and forget to shave."

He takes a moment before giving her a nod. "...Okay. Fine. We'll get to work." She looks almost excited, and he quickly follows it with "but I don't want you getting too involved! This is mine to deal with. You don't need this on your shoulders."

She gives him an almost stern look. "Just let me help."

So he sighs and reluctantly strides off. "Follow me."

She smiles, and the corners of his mouth tug upwards. Sort of.

...

"You really should sleep."

Ellie shakes her head in protest. She looks tired, but he really wants her to go to sleep because he's afraid he's going to drop off standing up. It's past two in the morning and they're both exhausted.

"No, really." he said, voice gentler this time. "And then tomorrow you need a break. I can help you with the kids," he offers.

"I don't need help." she replies. "But thanks."

He nods, even though he knows tomorrow he's going to be pushing Fred's stroller.

"Miller. Get some sleep."

She gives in this time, and they both shuffle back to his bed, Alec fumbling to switch off lights along the way. She goes under the covers, he lays on top.

"Goodnight. Sir."

"I think we're beyond 'sir' anymore, Miller."

"Sorry. Habits. Since you made me call you that for months."

They both give a laugh, small but genuine.

It is odd. They both know that this isn't how adults, already accused of having an affair, should behave. But it doesn't feel strange, them sharing a bed. It is the equivalent of two children having a sleepover. Innocent.

Alec looks at her, and he hopes she can save what little innocence she has left. She has lost so much, and he loves it when she smiles. When she proves she is still herself, she is still sweet Ellie Miller.

It scares him when she shows indifference or bitterness. Because he can see himself in her, and he hates it. Miller doesn't deserve to be ruined. She is the spot of light in his world of darkness and despair. And it terrifies him, the thought that someday, she could be just like him.

"Alright. Well. Get a good sleep."

"You too, Miller."

They give each other a little smile, and then they drift off into their private nightmares.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to all my readers and reviewers! I don't have time to thank you all personally, but I really do appreciate it!**

Ellie wakes to a cough, a splutter. A desperate cry.

Alec writhes beside her, eyelids fluttering but not enough for him to wake.

"Alec," she whispers, taking his arm, and he jerks under her grip, eyes flying fully open.

He looks at her, and she doesn't see the toughened, calloused cop. She sees a helpless man with misery in his eyes. Eyes that are quite possibly clouded with tears, though she doesn't point this out. Best not to embarrass him.

"I'm sorry." she says quietly. Even though he's never had a nightmare in her presence before, it's not too hard to figure out what it's about.

He just nods, looking away. "Sorry to wake you."

"You didn't." she lies. "I've been up. Probably your stupid rock hard mattress." she says, giving his arm a swat. A smile flickers beneath his scruff.

Her smile fades when he looks at the ceiling, silent for a moment. "I was so angry," he says quietly. "When I came out of surgery. I thought I was starting over again. Fresh. New. But I'm not. I'm still the same person. And I don't want to be."

She takes his hand. "You don't need to leave everything you know behind, just to get a fresh start." she says quietly. "You have people to support you. I really like you, Alec Hardy. Even though you're a stupid wanker who can't socialize to save his life."

He looks like he's somewhere between beaming and grimacing, so she figures it's a start.

"You don't need to be a flawless person to be a good person, okay?"

He's silent for a while before he gives her a nod. "Thanks." he says, and though it's one word, it's genuine. He appreciates her.

"You're okay. I guess." he teases. "Even though you drink all my tea and you bug me about not shaving and you call me Alec even though I don't-"

"You're the one who offered tea in the first place! And it's only fair, since I drive you everywhere!"

"Well, it's not my fault I couldn't drive! And I offered a mug, not _three gallons_!"

They argue for a while, then they get too tired to argue. So they end up laughing.

And then they both ease out of bed. But she's relieved to see that today, his smile stays on his face.


End file.
